Last week the young people and I gathered around a folding table to discuss the homework assignments for youth group. We do that every week, partly because the questions are complicated and very hard for them to read alone (Six out of the seven who do homework with me are deaf, and the other is barely getting confident in reading), and partly because it provides good conversation material.

 Sometimes, it’s frustrating, I’ll admit. Sometimes I wonder what on earth it’s accomplishing. Sometimes I wonder if they’re extremely bored by it, or if it’s all just going right over their heads. But sometimes, God kindly lets me see little encouraging glimpses of what He’s doing. This week I’ve had a few of those glimpses. Like Ricardo coming to both Petra and me, overflowing with excitement about a night last weekend where he seemed to have had some kind of dream, and kept telling us he was staying up late, talking with God and studying the Bible… or Maria sweetly wondering if we can know if we’re saved or not…

 I was sobered, too, by a couple of the young men saying (somewhat jokingly, but I don’t think completely) that they were standing in the middle, not completely Christian but not un-Christian either. We talked about that, how there really is no middle ground, but I don’t know how much they agreed. Please, if you think of them or if God puts them on your heart, pray for these young people!

Daily classes are going well… I actually got a whiteboard hung on the wall by the children’s desks today, so that made me feel very happily settled into the class (Sometimes it really doesn’t take much. J) We are all learning, I right along with the kids, both academically and in matters of the heart. Well, at least I am. J

And how am I doing otherwise? Doing well, thank you. Gracias a Dios, as they say here. I am still very grateful to be living with my friend’s family here in town, going back and forth to the school every school day and sometimes on weekends to help out so other staff can get some time off. I enjoy getting to join the worship team once a week playing piano, and being involved with the church family in other ways. I’ve been challenged again lately to step out and let God use me to share with people outside just the sphere of the school and my students, so you can pray for me in that. The fear of man is so tricky, so easy to fall into. Don’t think that just because I’m a “missionary” it comes easy to me. J But thankfully my God is bigger than my flesh or my fears!

Kelly was down here for several weeks the beginning of the year! I sure enjoyed having her around.

 

If all goes according to plan, my parents and three youngest siblings will be here by next weekend. I’m so excited to see them and have them here on my side of the world for a few weeks. J They plan to help out with projects at the school, hopefully host an afternoon/evening youth conference, teach some worship dance to the girls at the school, and enjoy time with friends and family (meJ) during spring break. I’m sure it will be great.

So… maybe you’ll hear from me again before another few months go by. Hopefully…

Planting a raised bed garden with my class

 

an aspiring songwriter

 

This last week, I feel like God has been waking me up, again, to the reality of these kids’ need for Him. Sometimes it can be easy to fall into the routine of life, to get caught up in grading schoolwork and cooking dinner and settling arguments and trying to keep the house/school in some general order… and forget. Forget what these kids came from, what they’ve seen. Forget what they’ve done, what they’re capable of doing. Forget that, though they are young, they are far from innocent. Forget how badly they need the same Savior who rescued me.

This week I have seen it again. My heart is broken over it, and yet hopeful.

Juan Jesus is only 12. Sometimes he seems like such a little boy still; I see his tenderness, his need for affection. But I realize, knowing a little more about his past and the choices that people in his life have made that he is prone to follow, how easily he will be lost if Jesus doesn’t get a hold of his heart. He’s already around the age his older brother was when he decided the school was too hard and too restrictive, and took off to live in the ‘freedom’ of the streets. I see the same struggle in him.

I think it might have been Tuesday that I was working a little after class with Leonardo, and God put it on my heart to talk to him a little. It was nothing dramatic; the kid pretty much just let me say what I wanted to say. But I was so thankful that he listened, and that I had the privilege again of talking about this incredible miracle that is the Gospel!

 

 

 

Thursday we had our usual ‘coffee’ with the deaf young people, and we talked about how we can best spend that time; I explained to them what my heart was and asked what they want out of it, how I can get behind them and help them in their walks with Jesus, how we can learn and grow together. I was encouraged by their response and the hunger that at least some of them have for more of Jesus. I believe God wants to do great things in these lives. Let us watch and see what He will do!

 

(The following is a little snapshot from last week, if you feel like reading a happy story... :)

Friday morning in my class we read from 1 Corinthians 15. I felt like it was fitting to read about Christ’s victory over death and the grave at this time of year, with the famous Mexican holiday "Day of the Dead" taking place the next day. But interestingly enough, we didn’t even get to the triumphant end of the chapter. The children started asking questions, and we spent at least half an hour there in class with a torrent of questions, things they had heard, things they had seen or dreamed or wondered…

“Is it true, what that says, that we will all be resurrected?”

“What happens if you don’t believe in Jesus? What is hell like? Do you feel things there?”

“Are you going to heaven, Christy? How do you know?”

“No wonder you’re so happy!”

“What do you mean, Jesus paid the price for you?”

Eventually I said, “Look, children, I think we really need to do a little schoolwork… but how about this: if you want to talk some more about that, why don’t we talk together here during recess?” They all thought that was a great idea, and clamored off to their desks. I was so excited by their enthusiasm and sincere questions.

At recess, most of them ended up getting a little too distracted by all the commotion and didn’t end up coming back. Understandable. But Lupita did, followed later by a couple of the other girls. We just sat there and talked, about the Gospel, about forgiveness…  She asked how it was that I became a Christian, and she said that she always asks God to forgive her sins, but doesn’t know if He does or not. So we talked about His promises and His salvation. She was so open, so interested. “But,” she said at one point, “I don’t get it. How did you become a Christian?” I explained as simply and truthfully as I could, amazed and grateful for the chance.

Yeah, easily my favorite class ever. J

Amigas...

 

We miss you, Mary!! So thankful for the time you spent down here with us!

 

Our neighbor Tere, who makes the best tortillas!

 

Woodshop with Gideon

 

On an ordinary Tuesday...

 

 

Welcome to my classroom! :) Welcome to broken pencils and lost erasers and torn pages and kids talking instead of working, or sitting in time out as a result. Welcome to the bell inducing a chorus of schoolbooks slamming shut and a stampede of kids running to get their snack or use the bathroom or play. But welcome also to a place of beauty, of learning (not just the kids!), of joy. Welcome to Margarita's sparkling smile that makes her look like a princess, and Juanito's uncontainable excitement about his progress in learning his times tables, and Ricardo's eager, wide-open expression as he works through a problem... and then those moments when you just have to laugh, because they really do come up with some pretty funny things to say sometimes. :)

 

Michelle's class

Pray that Jesus opens the minds and hearts of these precious kids to His salvation!

 

Last Wednesday I got to spend some time with a couple of the teenage deaf girls. It was such a treat to be able to catch up with them and connect again after the summer (I don't see them all that often, since they're usually in and out of class so fast and I am not their teacher), and they expressed to me that they would like to get together more often to be able to learn more about the Bible, since it is really hard for them to read. Wow. I suggested that we could go through a passage separately and then discuss it together, and Marisol said she'd also like to learn about living as a Christian woman, how to guard your purity, etc. I asked Flor what she would like to learn, and she said she wants to learn about what Jesus did when He died for us.

Does it get any better than that?? :)

It's complicated, with lots of difficult situations among the deaf kids, etc., but there is a hunger there and an opportunity for discipleship. I certainly do not feel qualified to really guide them, and of course I am not the only one, but I am thankful for this chance to let Jesus work. Please pray with me for these young people, that the Holy Spirit will keep working in their lives and filling them with the knowledge of Christ!!!

 

 

And last but not least, here's a picture of the family I live with down here, taken last weekend when the ones who don't live at home were back visiting. I can't thank God enough for the 'home away from home' He has given me in this precious family!

 

 

 

A few days ago, Juanito came to me with a very pleased look on his mischievous face. "I wrote a song," he told me. I was impressed, and told him I wanted to hear it. He was so cute; he brought me his little yellow notebook where he had written a page of cute 10-year-old writing and showed me the song, called "Christ, how you love us!", then went off singing and beside himself with happiness.

Later on I convinced him to play it for me on the guitar. We sat on empty desks pushed into the corner of the building, across from each other, and he started in.  

I almost cried; it was amazing! Of course I couldn’t tell what the tune was, since the poor kid can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but the words are completely precious and the fact that he wrote them himself, and that he was sitting there in front of me playing and singing his heart out, touched me deeply. “That is beautiful,” I told him. He shook his head, embarrassed and trying to pretend he didn’t care, and said it was awful. “No,” I said. “If you sing that to God, and you sing it from your heart, He loves it, Juanito!” He just kept strumming away. Oh, I long to see that boy on fire with the love of Jesus!!!!

 

 

Last Monday was Mexican Independence Day, and it was absolutely adorable to see all the little kids dressed up in their Mexican costumes. Rosario went to kindergarten in her little outfit, and I couldn't help take a picture. :)

And then Antonio, a sweet new boy here at the school, decided he wanted a picture of himself in the same place. :)

 

 

So, here I go, entering into my third week of classes tomorrow. Pray with me that Jesus will be glorified in and through me as I delight in Him and serve Him through serving these kids and the other workers, and that He gives me wisdom and patience as I teach.

Have a wonderful week delighting in Jesus!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

Open my heart, Jesus. Open my mouth. Open my hands.

Open my heart to embrace all that is dear to Yours. You’ve already opened it in so many ways, even this week; those little moments when You let me hear all those childish voices lift up your praises with more gusto than tune, J when I got to play cars with the three littlest kids, when You gave me the patience to see past the stubbornness or disinterest in my student Leonardo and remember his father dying of cancer, his kid sister several months pregnant, the abandoned housing project he lives in with his single mom… but open my heart more, please. Let me see what You see.

Open my mouth to be a messenger of You to Your people. There are still times I am quiet because I am afraid, and that is wrong. Let Your love so fill me that I cannot keep silent when You ask me to speak! Thank You for the times this week that I did get to speak of You: to the lady downtown, to the kids in the morning as we worship You together, to my new teacher friend that I sometimes walk with in the mornings with Jessica. But I see the deaf young people who come to school here, I hear about the violence in the city, the high suicide rate among teenagers… and I know in my heart that You want to do more. Have my mouth, and use it.

Open my hands, Lord; in two ways. Open my hands, like my mouth, to speak of You to the deaf in my life. There are so few hands that speak to them; please use mine! But also, open my hands so I can live free in Your presence, so I don’t hold on to what is dear to me and sin against You. You are my good Father, and I know I can trust You! You have blessed me beyond what I could ever deserve, Jesus—in the way You have provided for this trip even when I didn’t know how You would do it, the way You have given me a family and friends and a class of precious kids to teach and a place to live and so many rich gifts like sunsets and laughter and worship times and fruit juice and walks downtown and flowers in the morning… but I know that if I ever take my eyes off the Giver and start to hold onto the gifts, it is all wrong. You are the gift I long for! Open my hands to praise You in every moment instead of grasping onto what I have, protecting myself, or worshipping any other thing.

 

I realize that all of these are things I need to step out in faith and obey You in. But I also know that I need You for even the smallest step.

So here I am.

Open my heart, my mouth, my hands.

Monday, September 9

Aqui estoy!

It's so good to be back.

Today was the first day of classes at Colegio Cristiano Magdalena Rincon, and it was a good one. It's exciting to have my own "classroom" (a corner of the roofed area where my students' desks are arranged into a sort of room), and so fun to see all the kids again. I remember now why I love them. :) We had some crazy moments as we sort out what the new schedule is going to look like and all that, and I can tell I am going to have to be very consistent about my classroom management in order to set the pace for the rest of the school year, but it all worked out well.

 stopping for tacos on the trip down

 

Hi, friends!

I know I’ve kept in contact with some of you over the past year, and others probably never quite know what country I’m in or what I’m doing. I admit, I’ve been a little hard to keep track of, and not very good at communicating what is going on. So that’s why I’m writing. I would really like to be better at sharing what God is doing; not because you are all holding your breath waiting to hear from me (I know you have better things to do!), but because we are in this together, no matter how far apart we might be distance-wise, and frankly, we need each other. All of you who belong to Jesus are my family, and I need you. I need your prayers, I need your encouragement, I need your sharpening in my life.

I just returned to Colorado with my family after a wonderful month up in Idaho. We went up there to fix up our place, pick up supplies for our business, and spend time with friends that we haven’t seen in awhile. It’s been great, and I’m so thankful even just for the time we had together as a family through it all.

And the next step? It seems that God is leading me back down to Mexico for a season, so I’m walking through this open door and am excited to see what He has planned. I have my ticket down to Tucson for Thursday, and from there plan on driving down with  Petra and a few others in time to get to Los Mochis before school starts on the 9^th.

I’m excited. This will be the first time that I will be teaching at the school for the whole semester, and I look forward to going into it with anticipation for what God will do and being intentional about my focus with the kids, whether in class or just spending time with them in the afternoons and investing in their lives however I can.

So as it stands now, I will be teaching a class of 5-9 beautiful, squirrelly, wounded, unique, precious 4th-graders every morning on school days, leading the time of singing and worship for devotions before school, helping supervise and play with the children in the afternoon, and supporting and spelling off the other staff as I can… and anything else that I’m called upon to do. I will be staying with a family in town who are friends of mine, which I believe will make it possible to be more focused and intentional during my time at the school and then have time to rest and refocus/prepare when I go home at night. I also look forward to being involved with the local church and encourage and walk alongside the youth there.

Will you pray for me as I step out into this new season? I will try to communicate better as far as what is going on with the kids, etc., so that whoever wants to can feel more a part of what God is doing and be able to pray with me toward that.

And I want to hear what He is doing in your lives, too. Please remember I am no more a ‘missionary’ than any of you just because God has me outside of the US right now. Your calling today, wherever you are, is just as valid and important. Let’s fight together in this battle!

 

Because of Him,

Christy

 

 

 

If anyone wants to partner with me in this ministry, here’s the situation: it doesn’t take me much to live down there, but since it’s a volunteer position I am trusting God for my basic living/travel expenses, which are around $250 per month.

 

I know, I haven't written for awhile. And I know, last time I wrote was when I was down here, and in the meantime I was back in Colorado for about 6 weeks with my family... and now I'm back at the deaf school in Mexico. I guess I'm not a very frequent blogger. :)

 

God has been so good. As always. Now He has led me back here for a few months, and already after a week He has been faithful to provide for me, stretch me, push me out of my comfort zone, bless me so sweetly and beautifully, and show me my need for Him.

I am so blessed. We all are. Here are some of the things that I am thankful for right now:

 

 

There have been a few kids who weren't at the school right now, and the Lord answered our prayers to bring them back. One of those is precious Danilo... some of you might remember what I shared last year about what I learned from watching him.

 

 

I am so blessed to have such great people to work alongside. David and Michelle and the girls, Petra, Serafina, Avelina, Olga, Lea, and others.

I am so blessed to have precious children around me every day, with all their craziness and sweetness and hugs and laughs and mischief.

 

 

I am so blessed to have the ability to communicate, at least somewhat, in beautiful languages that aren't my own.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by the bold colors of village houses and the smell of burning sugar cane in the distance, the sound of roosters at any random time of day and the impact of little arms wrapping around my legs at any random moment.

 

 

I am so blessed to have amazing friends all over the world who love me, challenge me, inspire me, and point me to Jesus. Thank you, friends!

I am so blessed to have a rock beneath my feet and a lamp for my way.

I have Jesus, and He is all I need!

 

 

 

 

Meet Flor.

She (along with Milagros, Mariana, Maria... and others) is one of my favorite girls ever. She's 15, deaf since birth, and speaks only in sign. She has one of the most shining smiles and beautiful laughs I've ever seen or heard. She's full of humor, teasing, and sometimes attitude. She has a hunger to know more about the God she only recently gave her life to.

 

I got to hear about that tonight. We had a great conversation, each sitting on the top bunk in our room, she because she was going to bed and me because I wanted to talk to her. I had been wanting to hear from her own... well, her own hands what had been told me by others, and I asked Jesus for an opportunity to hear and to encourage her in any way. Well, He gave it to me, and it was so cool. In fact, we ended up deciding to get together in the next few days to read and talk about the Bible together! She really wants to learn more, but it's hard for her to understand, especially since her reading comprehension level is fairly low. I am SO excited about this opportunity. I would appreciate your prayers... I have nothing to give except for Jesus. Can't wait to see what He wants to do!

 

Here I am in Mexico again. I'm only here for a few weeks, I know, but my heart is singing with joy; joy in my good Father who will never leave or forsake me, and joy that for right now, He has led me here.

The following is a few glimpses of my life right now: the children. Just little instances, moments that made me stop and think, things about them that touched me.

 

A few days ago, I sat down next to Nayeli when she was reading something in her Bible and started talking to her about it. Then she started telling me about something it reminded her about, some memory with her family.

“It was raining,” she said, “And my uncle was crying because it was raining…”

“Why?” I asked, confused. “I love it when it rains!”

“Because the water would come all into the house,” she said.

I said, “Oh,” feeling ashamed of my thoughtlessness and amazed at my ignorance of true poverty. It sobers me to think of something so beautiful to me being something that would make a grown man cry. What these kids have seen and lived through…

 

The other night, bedtime prayers with one of the girls turned into a “telling God my whole life story” time. She told how her mom had left her with her grandma at only a year old. She told about how long it had been since she had seen her brothers.

“Please, let my brother come and see me!” she prayed. “Please let him come before Christmas. And please, help me learn to read."

 

 

David and Michelle Bonsell, the directors here at the school, are an amazing couple. My respect and admiration for them has grown lately, as I see them spend themselves for Jesus and these kids, day after day, year after year, full of faith and not complaining. I am so thankful that the children have "substitute parents" like that. But still, I can't imagine what it must be like for so many of them who have family members, but not a solid, healthy family they call their own.

It touched my heart to hear about the other day, when David and Michelle had the three littlest boys, brothers, in town. These boys have lived with them for several years now, and are probably the most 'at home' at the school out of all of them. But still... like I said. Well, apparently David was going to go into the store and get something, and one of the boys wanted to go with him. Then, on second thought, the little boy begged Michelle to come in, too. "Come on," he said, "Let's all go in together--like a family!"

Flor showed up yesterday, after having been gone for a week or so due to sickeness and family things. I was happy about that, since I hadn't seen her since I had been here. :) I had missed her.

A little while after that first happy reunion, I came into our room to get something. She was in here too, and we hugged again and exclaimed on how happy we were to see each other. She turned to me and signed, “Thanks to God you are here!”

I agreed with a smile, but she had more to say. “Remember when you were here before? You said to pray that you’d come back. Well, I did, and here you are!”

 

My present stretch of road: glimpses of the journey

I can finally say I know where the path is leading a few steps in front of me. At least, I know what I'm planning. That is something to thank Jesus about, right there! This time of waiting has been very good, and He has taught me persistance, patience, and focus through it all. It has not been easy, but it has been good. And now that He has worked things out and I have direction, I am very thankful and very excited for what He has in store, but I know now in a deeper way that His answer to my prayers is not so much the specific path laid before me, but just Himself.

These journal entries are just snapshots of what God has been doing and how He has been gently, faithfully leading me. I know, it's a long blog post. I would likely skim it if I were you. :) Only please, as you read this, don't get distracted looking at me or my confusion and imperfection or lack of persistance or anything else; look at Jesus and how patient and good He is. 

"This my song through endless ages: Jesus doeth all things well!"

 

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

(A few days before leaving Haiti)

This morning I sat out under the little thatched pagoda, knees drawn up onto the hard bamboo bench, and looked out over a hot, mostly expressionless ocean.

“I trusted You to take me back to México,” I remembered softly, but with emotion, “and You did. I trusted You to give me the strength I needed, and the words I needed when I needed them, and You did. I trusted You to lead me, and You brought me here.”

I drew a deep breath. “I trusted You to make Your purpose for me being here clear, and to accomplish everything You wanted accomplished over this summer.” I swallowed hard, and my vision grew a little blurry as I looked out across the sea. “And even though I can’t see it all, I trust that You have. I trust that even when I am unfaithful, You are faithful—for You cannot deny Yourself. I trust,” I said, crying now, “that You are enough. I trust that what You have done in me and done through me over this time is enough, worth You bringing me here...

 

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

(Back at home)

I don’t think I’ve ever experienced what people call “culture shock” or “jet lag” before. Not that I know of, anyway. But settling back in here has been a bit surprisingly difficult emotionally. I’ve found myself pretty up-and-down, and having to remember that is not what I go by. I’ve been ecstatically happy to be home, loving my room and feeling like I want to just stay in here forever, and then I’ve been terribly cross and irritable and not liking much of anything. I’ve had great times of prayer where it seems so clear, like the mist is gone and I can finally see ahead of me, and I’ve had feelings of aimlessness and apathy about the future. As I think and pray about what areas to plug in to and what this next season should look like, I’m not happy to find myself half-way wishing I could just stay at home with my family and lead a quiet, comfortable little life.

Oh Jesus, thank You, thank You that You don’t do that! Thank You that You didn’t change, that You haven’t stopped loving me or stopped having a will or a plan for the future, a plan that will glorify You and delight Your heart; and mine, when it’s right with You. I love You, my Father! I run into Your arms again right now. Don’t ever let me go.

 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

My faith was strengthened again tonight, as I sat on the floor in the living room, listening to Dad tell about his journey to Truth. He got choked up as he recounted the time when he was lost in the mountains of Ecuador…

He was headed for the place where his friends were camping. He had been up there once before, but now a thick fog surrounded him, and he could not tell which way to go. Alone and afraid, he cried out to the Lord for help. Just then, the fog parted! He saw the path, and skipped down it in complete joy and thankfulness.

That evening he reached the area where he thought the camp should be, but by then the fog had closed in again, and he couldn’t see. Thinking it useless to go further in the growing dark, he was going to bed down for the night. But then he called out for his friends, just in case. And what do you know—the camp was only like 100 yards from where he stood, and his friends heard him!

That story jumped out at me with such significance. I saw myself in it. God has parted the fog for me before. He has guided me in amazing ways. I’ve seen Him work. But now, a little farther down the path, it’s foggy again and growing dark, so I find myself preparing to bed down there for the night. Almost as if hey, I’ve seen my miracle. I can’t expect another one. But I was reminded in this story that He still wants to do more. Why wouldn’t He?

Me and my bro :)

Monday, November 05, 2012

I think… I believe I am supposed to go to Mexico. I still don’t know all the details about when and how and where, but I am thinking soon, and staying ‘til Christmas.

I also think I really would love to go with His Little Feet after that, and it looks like that might work out. That… is exciting. J

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I just chatted with Petra, and started wondering if it’s worth going down there for such a short time. Even though it looks perfect for Kelly standing in for me with HLF, and Christa seems good with that, and I thought that was what I was supposed to do… I don’t know.

My God is still good.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Went bowling tonight with the HLF team. While we were out, Christa got word that the remaining four Haitian children have been approved for visa application. Thank You, Jesus!!! Kourtney responded with a chipper, “Now Christy’s coming on tour!” I wonder if she’s right. Jesus, thank You for Your guidance and Your perfect care.

 

Friday, November 9

So, where am I at with direction and plans? Well, today we found out that the tour has been set back again, which kind of confirmed my thoughts yesterday about just going ahead and going to Mochis for a month. But I do want to go on tour, after that if not before. At this point I just believe that God has set this opportunity before me and not said ‘no,’ so I think I will take it. As far as Mexico, today I have sensed Him affirming that it is His errand, so He will supply! I felt such a need to pray today, which I did have some time for this afternoon.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Tonight I’m still in limbo. J Sound familiar? Yes… I feel quite positive about going on tour, but I’m still trying to see how it could work to go down to MX first, and it’s proving to be a bit difficult. Oh well; no reason to stress about it now. I just don’t want to try and finagle something and push it into action if it’s not God’s doing, you know? Dad coming down is sounding like a pretty slim chance, so I’m having to decide if I would want to go ahead anyway. Lord, again, I need You! Thank You for leading me!!!!!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

I still know no more on my future plans, but have a definite relief to feel like I’m waiting on other people to decide, instead of it all resting on “me”. I can wait. He is still working.

 

 

Monday, November 12, 2012

I have been feeling weary, but right now I feel at rest. Jesus, You are great! You are good. You are enough for me—my Bread of Life—no matter what is going on around me. Even if all my plans crumble to the ground, You are enough. But I will not fear that, because if I am trusting You, then my plans crumbling to the ground only means the opportunity to see Yours rise out of the ruins.

I praise You that when I am weak, You are strong. Well, that would be now. I am weak, Jesus! I don’t know where to go from here, how to work things out, when to push and when to wait. I will just trust You to be strong! And also realize that it’s not about knowing what I’m doing; it’s about abiding in You and being faithful where You have placed me RIGHT NOW. Even if all I know is five minutes at a time, You have given me what I need to be completely satisfied, strengthened, and full of joy in that.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Here I am, sitting on the other side of the mist. What do you know? I think that weary, half-desperate feeling that you’re never getting anywhere is almost like that dark hour before the dawn. I can’t say I wasn’t tempted to give up hoping that God would work something out for me and show me what it was, tempted to "settle down for the night in the middle of the fog," unaware that the destination was within hearing distance. But Jesus was faithful to encourage me, to give me glimpses of hope, to give me the strength to hold on to who He is.

Now I find myself standing in the fresh air looking out over a crisp, clear piece of scenery. My heart is smiling, a bit. No, laughing.

Tonight I could barely keep it in as we sat around in the living room for a time of worship with my family and a few friends. Finally I just looked up at Dad. “Can I say something?” He said ‘of course,’ so I opened my mouth and shared with them what God was doing. They all rejoiced with me. It hasn’t been easy waiting, I told them—and they know. They’ve wondered with me for the past couple of months, and are probably almost as relieved as I am to finally know something. J Our God is a good Shepherd!

 

So here is the plan: I fly out next Thursday (early Thanksgiving morning) with Erin, a friend of mine, to Mexico. We plan to be there for about three weeks, helping out at the deaf school however we can. God really guided and provided for this, and since it is something I believe that He put on my heart and made possible (as opposed to me just pushing my way because I wanted it so badly), I am excited to see how He sustains and moves and works during this trip!

After that, if it is His will, I will come back here to Colorado, spend Christmas with my family, and then head out with the His Little Feet international children’s choir for the next 9 months! It is still tentative, since it depends on a lot of very "hanging-in-the-balance" things as far as visas and such, but I know God will do what is best, and that is enough.

 

 

For any of you who find yourselves in similar situations as far as waiting and wondering, let me encourage you not to lose hope. These can be some of the most precious times, as Jesus draws you to Himself in a deeper way than ever before, and as your faith is tried and strengthened. You hold on to who He is and what He promised, even when you don’t see or feel it. Your faith is precious to Him. And remember: He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him! (Hebrews 11:6) Do not grow weary of seeking, or stop asking. Our God is a good Shepherd, and He never fails!