Open my heart, Jesus. Open my mouth. Open my hands.

Open my heart to embrace all that is dear to Yours. You’ve already opened it in so many ways, even this week; those little moments when You let me hear all those childish voices lift up your praises with more gusto than tune, J when I got to play cars with the three littlest kids, when You gave me the patience to see past the stubbornness or disinterest in my student Leonardo and remember his father dying of cancer, his kid sister several months pregnant, the abandoned housing project he lives in with his single mom… but open my heart more, please. Let me see what You see.

Open my mouth to be a messenger of You to Your people. There are still times I am quiet because I am afraid, and that is wrong. Let Your love so fill me that I cannot keep silent when You ask me to speak! Thank You for the times this week that I did get to speak of You: to the lady downtown, to the kids in the morning as we worship You together, to my new teacher friend that I sometimes walk with in the mornings with Jessica. But I see the deaf young people who come to school here, I hear about the violence in the city, the high suicide rate among teenagers… and I know in my heart that You want to do more. Have my mouth, and use it.

Open my hands, Lord; in two ways. Open my hands, like my mouth, to speak of You to the deaf in my life. There are so few hands that speak to them; please use mine! But also, open my hands so I can live free in Your presence, so I don’t hold on to what is dear to me and sin against You. You are my good Father, and I know I can trust You! You have blessed me beyond what I could ever deserve, Jesus—in the way You have provided for this trip even when I didn’t know how You would do it, the way You have given me a family and friends and a class of precious kids to teach and a place to live and so many rich gifts like sunsets and laughter and worship times and fruit juice and walks downtown and flowers in the morning… but I know that if I ever take my eyes off the Giver and start to hold onto the gifts, it is all wrong. You are the gift I long for! Open my hands to praise You in every moment instead of grasping onto what I have, protecting myself, or worshipping any other thing.

 

I realize that all of these are things I need to step out in faith and obey You in. But I also know that I need You for even the smallest step.

So here I am.

Open my heart, my mouth, my hands.